Archive for September, 2009

Breathless…

September 11, 2009

Tomorrow I’m running in another 5k race. I have not been very excited about it or even set any goals for myself to run faster or run harder. I signed up. I was going to show up and it I did better than last time, fine. If not, whatever. I was unmotivated.

That was until yesterday.

I received some horrible news that someone so special and close to me suffered a horrible loss. Only someone in her shoes could possibly understand how she feels. She was expecting a child in January and had a very late term miscarriage. She wanted this child so badly and had spent years trying to successfully conceive. This was supposed to be her turn, her baby. And everyone will say there is a reason this happened. I know in my mind that this child was not right for this world but in my heart I think nature is cruel and why her? I feel like this pain is too much for her to handle alone. I want to take some of it away. I guess it’s like when your child is sick and you wish you could just be sick for them so they don’t have to suffer. But I know there is nothing I can do. There is nothing I can say. I hate feeling so helpless.

So tomorrow morning I will get up early, I will put on my running shoes and I will run for her. I will run because she can’t.. her heart is broken. I will run hard and fast because maybe if I am struggling, she won’t have to. Maybe if I am out of breath, she will be able to catch hers, even if it’s just for a moment.

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