Archive for June, 2010

Emergency contact…

June 30, 2010

For whatever reason, I have recently been in several situations where I have had to fill out forms asking for my emergency contact person. More specifically, emergency contact person- Not Living With You. I didnt’ know what to do. I put Devon anyway. Now of course I could list my parents or my sister or even my many close friends who don’t even live in this state… but what could they do in an EMERGENCY? I guess it depends on the type of emergency, but still. It got me thinking. How is it that I have lived her for 7 years and I don’t have anyone I can depend on “in case of emergency”? Why don’t I have anyone I can call to pick up my child when I am stuck in miles-long traffic? Is it that everyone in Asheville is weird? Maybe. Because I like to over-analyze things, I have come up with several explanations as to how I have ended up friendless and alone… did I mention that I also tend to exaggerate??

1. I don’t really like people. They are so annoying.

2. I compare everyone I meet to the friends I already have. They are awesome. The new people, not so much.

3. I am not a hippie. Have you been to Asheville? I wear make-up and high heels and even bathe on a regular basis. I also drive an SUV and wear clothes without holes in them.

4. I have a job. For some reason, no female with children in this whole city works outside of the house. I’m sure this is true, I’ve done research. Not that this really matters, but their schedule is much different than my schedule and trying to get together is near impossible.

5. I can’t be friends with people who wear bad shoes. It’s shallow, but I’m not about to change at this point.

6. I don’t have time for friends. This sounds lame and I’m sure I could make time.

7. I don’t like talking on the phone. Except to the people in #2 above.

8. I don’t like people who aren’t funny. My friends must all be able to make me laugh regularly. My job is stressful and depressing so when I’m not at work- which is rarely, I want to spend it laughing.

9. I don’t want to do “play dates” or anything boring like that. I would like to let my kid play with your kid while we drink a bottle glass of wine and complain about said children.

10. I prefer to spend my time complaining about how I don’t have any friends, rather than trying to make some.

So now for the real reason you are here…. a poorly taken picture of Kaela. I had to keep it- she is almost smiling in the picture… almost.

Cookies…

June 10, 2010

For some reason whenever I change Kaela’s diaper right before her bath, she asks me if there are any cookies in there… Yes, that’s right. She wants to know if there are cookies in her diaper. She is a weird kid.

Boot Camp Baby!

June 8, 2010

So yesterday was day 1 of my month long “Boot Camp” that I signed up for. As I have never been to an actual military boot camp, I can probably guess that it is nothing like a real boot camp. There is no one yelling at me. Actually, I think the instructor is afraid of me. The other thing is that in the class, there is just me and one other person. So I guess real boot camp has a lot more people. Also homeless people watch us while smoking cigarettes or…. well, they are smoking something. That probably doesn’t happen in boot camp.

But one thing that is similar is that it is kicking my butt! Getting up at 5:30 and working out before work is probably part of the problem, but that is the only time I could fit it in. The best part is that it starts off each day with running a mile, so that’s pretty easy for me but the pushups… oh my GOD the pushups. Then we have “homework” that means more pushups…. I can’t even lift my purse today. We are also given a diet plan that includes no alcohol, no soda, no white flour, no sweets… in other words, nothing good. We are also supposed to drink a GALLON of water a day. I haven’t had to pee so much since I was 9 months pregnant.

It is 4 weeks long with 4 days a week and so far it is actually fun… except for the pushups. I have always enjoyed exercising but I just don’t enjoy getting up early or giving up wine. But it’s only for a month. I can do anything for a month. Well except for maybe prison… I think I am way too cute for jail.

A conversation with a 21 month old…

June 1, 2010

Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!!!

WHAT??

Where Daddy?

He’s in the bathroom.

Daddy poopoo?

Um… maybe.

Daddy poopoo on the potty?

Yes, Daddy poopoos on the potty. Do you want to poopoo on the potty?

No.

(she spends 2 minutes running through the house and pounding on the bathroom door)

Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!!!

Yes Kaela?

Where Gumpy?

At home.

Where Meemaw?

At home.

Where Nanny?

At home.

Where Gosh? (Josh is one of Devon’s friends.)

At home. Everyone is at home..

(She spends 2 minutes pounding on the bathroom door again and taking everything out of the kitchen drawer for the 17 billionth time that day)

Come on Mommy!! (Pulling on my finger trying to drag me off of the couch to play in her room… again)

How about some raisins? (trying any distraction because I can’t read Go Dog Go one more time OHMYGOD!!!)

RAISINS!!!! RAISINS!!! RAISINS!!!!Where the raisins???

Here- have some raisins.

Where Daddy?