Archive for April, 2013

This time, it’s personal…

April 17, 2013

For so many reasons, I can’t get Boston out of my head. When 9/11 happened, I was deeply affected but it was just different. I had not spent a lot of time in New York. I had never been to the twin towers. At the time, I didn’t know anyone who lived there. It felt like a world away. I would watch the news coverage, I would cry. I couldn’t understand how this could happen to those people.

With Boston, it’s different. These are my people. I have been to countless races. My family, my children, my closest friends, have been to so many finish lines, to so many races. I keep re-playing the video coverage in my head and can’t help but picture myself or someone I love there… then my hearts starts racing and I feel sick. I spent the morning watching the Marathon updates on Twitter and Facebook, then a message came through about an explosion, and my hands started shaking. They haven’t stopped.

The Boston Marathon is for the elite. It’s for runners (much faster than I am) to receive a little bit of glory for all of their sacrifices and hard work. I have read that the entire 26.2 miles is considered your victory lap. Even qualifying to run is an amazing accomplishment. The fact that this experience was robbed for these runners is just something I can’t wrap my brain around. 5700 didn’t even get to finish. I’m angry that every time I run a race, this will be on my mind. Every time anyone runs in a race, this will be on his or her mind. Something so special to so many people was stolen.

I don’t plan to stop running races. Will I feel moments of panic or sadness? Probably. Will this fade over time? I hope so. I do know that my girlfriends and I are already planning our next race destination. Running has given me so much. It has given me physical heath, but more than that, it has given me emotional health. It has helped me find my competitive side. When my daughter asks if she can be a runner like her mommy, it makes me feel proud. It has changed my life and I feel indebted to running.

I believe that runners were not targeted in this attack and it was likely just an opportunity for these cowards to have a large group of people gathered with international media coverage. That being said, it still feels personal. Why my people?

Last night I ran for Boston. It was hot and I was so tired but I ran and when I wanted to stop, I ran some more. I had to turn my music up loader to get the sounds of explosions and screams out of my head. There were hundreds of people at the park last night just running. That’s what I needed to remember why I run. Even though I run by myself, I never run alone.

(please visit if you want to see ways to show your support)